Where The F Have I Been?

Lol, I am cracking up at the title of this post because it’s the blogging equivalent to when Instagram influencers apologize for “being MIA all day”. Like, I didn’t even notice you were gone? You are not the center of my life? I haven’t been feverishly checking my phone every 30 seconds to see if you’ve posted? Calm down? 

But now I am that person and I will have to accept that. To be completely honest I’m more so writing this post for myself because I have a really hard time just jumping back into things without explaining myself which I realize is my own weird complex I need to deal with. I am an over-sharer, an over-explainer, and an over-analyzer through and through. OF COURSE the entire world has wondered why I haven’t published anything in seven months. Duh. I am the queen of the world, hello. 

LOL okay, we are done with that now. Let’s move on. 

A lot has happened over the past few months and throughout all of these transitions and all of this newness, I have found myself feeling not so inspired to write and therefore have thrown myself into everything else that’s going on in my life and have seriously neglected the blog. Neglected, but did not forget. I have been wanting to write and create and do all of the things I normally love so much to do but it’s become one of those things where the longer I wait to dive back in the harder it seems to do so. 

I’ve been very focused on the podcast (season 2 on its way baaaaybeeee) which is a whole lot of fucking work you guys. I am a one-woman show so when it comes to scheduling interviews, recording, editing, etc. it’s all me. Which is totally okay but it just requires a ton of time, not to mention some emotional energy since it’s a podcast about my dating life. The more I focused on the podcast, the less I focused on the blog and the more I felt guilty for neglecting the blog and the more I avoided it even more. 

I threw myself into freelancing and podcasting while the blog collected dust and now I’m here feeling all rusty and awkward. Like what do I even want to write about anymore? Who am I? Haaaalp!

Because I’ve had my blog for so long and I value my readership so much I am always concerned that my content isn’t, I don’t know, niche enough? Interesting enough? Just, good enough in general? So I’ve found it easier to just not do anything at all which is dumb. 

I’ve also just been over the whole Instagram blogger/influencer bs. I don’t want to have to post ten times a day and constantly be on the app and try to make my life look so glamorous when it’s usually not. I love writing, not Instagramming and I think I was holding onto that part of the gig so much because that’s what you’re “suppose” to do when you’re a blogger. Leverage social media. Run ad campaigns on your feed. The whole thing. But it’s just not something that brings me joy so I don’t think I’ll be returning to the app in the way I use to. I’m becoming more active on my blog account again but it will be a scaled-down version with a stronger focus on engaging with my audience vs. constantly creating. 

I think what I’ve been realizing is that I just need to write because 1. It’s part of who I am. I’m a writer and if I’m not doing what I love it lowers my quality of life. And 2. If I just write about what I actually want without worrying about it the quality will be better. So today is the day I am trying to get back into it. 

In a lot of ways, I’m a lot happier than I was seven months ago when I stopped blogging. My body feels the best it ever has, I started therapy, I’m moved into a bigger place and saved $$ at the same time, and I’m just in general feeling so much more balanced these days. But I miss writing and I miss my community. So while I don’t know if I can commit to a regular blogging schedule right now (one step at a time) I do want to start getting back into the swing of things. 

Breaks are a necessary part of life and while I do think this one might have been a tiny bit too long (lol like the “break” I took from college) I think it has allowed me to narrow my focus to just one or two things at a time so I can actually begin to feel like I have control over my work life. But now it’s time to get back to what I love most: writing for all of you. All twelve of you. Kidding! I hope LOL

Expect to see new content (fashion, dating, health, the whole thing) very soon. 

Xo, 

She