I can’t decide if 2019 was a great year or a bad one but I do know so much has changed, big and small.
I launched a dating podcast, I moved into a new place, and I started therapy. I also had a lot of expensive car problems (get it together Bev!), my parents had a lot of medical issues and I got my heartbroken. So. It wasn’t perfect.
But nothing ever is. And while this year has been filled with breakthrough moments and exciting new changes it also has been filled with challenging times and days that felt like a punch in the stomach. It’s life and that’s okay. What matters is that I’m still here and there’s a brand new year ahead of me, filled with possibility.
Related: My 2019 New Year Resolutiosn
I love goals and planning and setting intention. Duh. It’s who I am. But I think I want to shift away from hard-set resolutions and more into just general focuses and long term results. I have a lot of fun things planned for 2020 and I can’t wait to see what this year has in store.
Here are my 2020 focuses and some of my favorite highlights from 2019:
THROW MYSELF INTO THE BLOG 100%
I didn’t write for a good 6-7 months last year and was just generally feeling overwhelmed and a bit defeated. I live in San Francisco, so earning an income that supports my life in an expensive city is obviously huge. So I occupied my time with freelancing and side gigs and let the blog fall to the side which is silly because the more time I give it the more it flourishes and the more I earn.
I also launched my dating podcast which was so fun and I’m so glad I did, but as a one-woman show (when it comes to creating it anyway) it required a ton of time and energy from me. The blog slowly became less and less of a priority.
I hated the feeling of not writing for myself on a regular basis. I hated losing my connection with the community I had built. But it just felt like keeping up with the Instagram algorithm and constantly trying to drive traffic to my site on top of creating content consistently was too much. I needed a break.
Related: Where The F Have I Been?
But recently I’ve found my way back to the blog and I forgot how in love with creating content I am. It feels so good to be back and to be writing again. I’m able to look at Instagram and Pinterest and the blog with whole new eyes and newfound energy. I feel like I did when I first started the blog almost 10 years ago and it’s making me so excited for what’s to come.
2020 is all about the blog and content creation in general. Expect more of it, more often. I can’t wait to share!
FINISH SEASON TWO OF THE PODCAST
Just because I’m back on the blog doesn’t mean I’m neglecting the pod! I have a new schedule and time management strategy (along with hiring out for the tasks I don’t have time to do) that’s allowing me to continue to edit the second season while maintaining my other obligations.
I have already recorded all of my interviews and am just editing all of the episodes so I can release them weekly (yay!) and not be overwhelmed or stressed out beyond belief like I was during the first season. Getting everything done ahead of time is going to be so much better for my sanity but it does take time so I’m grateful for your patience (if you even care lol).
Season two will be out sometime in the beginning of this year so follow my podcast account on IG to stay updated on the release date! I’m @itsnotsheitsyou 🙂
BECOME A GREAT HOSTESS
Now that I live in this big ass house (for San Francisco standards) I can’t wait to become hostess of the century!
I’ve already had so much fun having a few friends over for dinner and cooking for them and also hosting a holiday party last month. My old place was so so tiny and it just wasn’t really possible to have people over. But now that I have such a large space to work with I’m having the time of my life decorating.
There’s just something about having people you love over and feeding them and making them happy that warms my little sentimental heart. People just don’t it enough anymore and this year I want to change that.
I would love to host friends at least once a month so I can hone my cooking skills (they are new lololol) and also just have an excuse to get together with my loved ones. Even if it means I’m just having one person over it will give me something to look forward to!
Related: How to Host a Fabulous Holiday Party On a Budget
TRAVELING OUTSIDE OF THE US FOR THE FIRST TIME
I feel like this is on my list every year but this year, it’s actually happening!
I’m finally leaving the country (pathetic, I’m aware) and heading to Tulum and (hopefully) Spain!
I’ve always wanted to travel and have a list a mile long of all the places I want to visit but for some reason, it’s just never happened. When I worked at Victoria’s Secret it was really difficult to take that much time off (especially before I was a manager and got PTO) and now that I work primarily for myself it’s also hard to justify leaving and not working for an extended period of time.
But it was my goal to save a good little chunk of change for traveling by the end of last year and I’ve decided I just need to fucking do it. There will (maybe) be a time in my life where I don’t have the freedom I have now so I have to go live my life.
BECOME A B+ HOME CHEF
Like hosting, I’ve recently realized that I love to cook (took me 26 years but, ya know, it happened) and have been thoroughly enjoying trying out new recipes in the kitchen every week.
A lot of my family consists of wonderful chefs (professional and not) and I’ve never felt like it was something I would ever be good at. And while I don’t know if I would add it to the top of my “many talents” list, I will say that even in the past three months I have come leaps and bounds.
Obviously there’s the satisfaction of feeding people food that they actually like but it’s also just fun to take a bite of something and realize that not only is it pretty good, but you made it.
I want to be good at cooking and this is my year to do it!
GET THE MOST FISCALLY FIT OF MY LIFE
Honestly, forget a six-pack, I want a fat emergency fund and zero debt. Anyone else?
2019 involved a huge overhaul of my finances. I created a super-specific budget, started tracking where my money actually goes (spoiler: its Target) and paid off a ton of student loan debt.
So technically, I already am the most fiscally fit I’ve ever been but now that I’ve ditched my bad money habits it’s time to really take things up a notch.
My goal in 2020 is to save enough for a six-month emergency fund (currently hovering around 1.5 LOL), pay off the rest of my student loans and really start getting serious about investing for my retirement.
Related: Budgeting For The Clueless 20 Something
I have already sat down and mapped out my entire year’s budget so I’m prepared. I factored in savings, trips I want to take and all of the things I know I can cut out. Other than my trips I really want to buckle down when it comes to spending on the non-necessities. And if I earn more than what I’m projecting then anything extra goes to my student loans and after they’re gone it will all go into savings. It’s going to feel AMAZING to have zero debt and a nice chunk of savings in the bank. Woooooo!
FOCUS ON WHAT I CAN CONTROL AND ACCEPT WHAT I CAN’T
For some reason, this seems harder to me than paying off all of my debt or becoming an amazing chef.
I have always been afraid of being someone who plans and plans but never executes. Failing from trying doesn’t scare me but failing from giving up terrifies me. I hate the idea of being the type of person who just couldn’t put in the work. I also can be incredibly impatient and want things now. Not later. Not in a few years. Today. This minute.
But that’s not how life works and I have to just be okay with letting go of the things I can’t control. There are so many things other people do or say, random events that happen out of nowhere and moments that feel like a slap in the face that will happen. They cannot be stopped because I don’t control every person, place, and thing in the world. Sometimes you just have to prepare to be unprepared.
This becomes especially difficult when I focus too much on the end results of the things I want. I’ll set a big goal knowing that it’s going to require time and patience and a lot of work and yet when I don’t see things changing after a few days or weeks I begin to panic. And then I freeze. And I stop taking action. And that’s when things really begin to fall apart.
I’ve been listening to this audiobook called The Motivation Myth: How High Achievers Really Set Themselves Up To Win by Jeff Haden and the main advice he shares is to focus on the process and not the end goal. Because thinking about how far you have to go and all of the things that are out of your control can be paralyzing, overwhelming and totally discouraging. But if you can just focus on what you need to do every day to get closer to your goal (“the process”) then you’ll actually be able to reach it because you’re going to feel good about yourself every day for getting these small tasks completed.
Get the book here!
I am just going to focus on the things I need to do every day to reach my goals, to feel my best and to be happy.
What are your goals for 2020? Share them in the comments below! I’d love to hear 🙂
Xo,
She
